Saturday, December 20, 2014

How the Grinch nearly stole Christmas

Every Who
Down in Who-ville
Liked Christmas a lot...

But the Grinch,
Who lived just North of Who-ville,
Did NOT!

The Grinch hated Christmas! The whole Christmas season!
Now, please don't ask why. No one quite knows the reason.
It could be that his head wasn't screwed on quite right.
It could be, perhaps, that his shoes were too tight.
But I think that the most likely reason of all
May have been that his heart was two sizes too small.

Whatever the reason,
His heart or his shoes,
He stood there on Christmas Eve, hating the Whos,
Staring down from his cave with a sour, Grinchy frown
At the warm lighted windows below in their town.
For he knew every Who down in Who-ville beneath
Was busy now, hanging a mistleoe wreath.

"And they're hanging their stockings!" he snarled with a sneer.
"Tomorrow is Christmas! It's practically here!"
Then he growled, with his grinch fingers nervously drumming,
"I MUST find a way to keep Christmas from coming!"

The first Who was Jamie,
Not a bad kind of lad,
He gave him some back pain, the worst ever had.
Either sitting, or standing, they both would cause pain,
Only laying on the floor would make this Who normal again.
He grinned and he bared it, he sat through the show,
Popping pill after pill, wishing the back pain to go

He then spotted Tricia,
The Mum of the bunch.
Let’s try out some Kidney stones, that’ll give her a hunch.
But that wasn’t enough, let’s dish out more back pain,
That made her shout “Ouch” again and again…and again.
He then saw her eyes, such the prettiest green,
And covered one over with an infected sheen.

Not satisfied with this mischief,
His eyes wandered afar,
Where he stumbled upon the Chief Clumsy Czar.
She was living in Plymouth, her first name was Storm,
And without a shadow of doubt, the clumsiest Who ever born.
The ice cream, the hot plate, the coffee pot steam,
An accident waiting to happen, she always had been.
Climbing stairs is so easy, walking down not so much,
A 5am crazy stumble and her gift was a crutch.

That left Kaede and Nate,
The Who’s youngest two,
He plotted and planned to make their lives feel like poo.
He threw Lego and jigsaws, sore throats and trapped wind,
But the more he threw at them, the more that they grinned.
They were used to this family, like a duck takes to water,
So they easily avoided the Grinch’s Christmas slaughter.

The Grinch got frustrated,
His ears filled with steam.
No matter what mischief he caused, not one frown could he gleam.
The others took heart from the youngest two’s laughter,
And became determined to have their own happy ever after
With every new mishap, they laughed and they laughed,
And a Happy but painful Christmas they managed to craft.

So on the happiest of notes,
We finish our tale,
About how the worst things can happen, so many things to assail.
But if surrounded by family, you manage to grin,
Then you can turn the Grinch’s losses into a win.
You can joke at the tumbles, you can grin through the pain,
But whatever you do, don’t let Storm dish up ice cream again.

Thanks to Dr Suess for the start.