The Me, Me Meme

The mischievous @angpang tagged me with a meme on her blog, which has forced me to turn my cutting insight on myself, not as an uncomfortable journey as I first thought. If you are a blogger reading this, why not take up the challenge (because you would be mad to, that's why not). I have listed my victims, I mean tagged people, at the bottom.

What are your current obsessions?

Writing and Twitter. I don't know how it happened but the part of my brain needed to get my smart-arse comments into 140 characters, kick-started the whole writing/creative side of my brain. I have not written a thing since I left school, and the only things I did then were forced upon me homework pieces, and generally rubbish. It has woken up a part of my brain that will now not switch off, I even carry around a little pad to write stuff down. Plus, I have made some really good friends, most of whom are the type of people I would never have met before. This is probably the only bit of sentimentality in this whole piece, I thought I would get it over and done with straight away.

What item from your wardrobe do you most wear?

Sloppy jogging bottoms in the winter, cabby old gardening shorts in the summer. Ever since becoming a houseband I have tried to get all my 'public' chores done in the morning, shopping, bill payments, dry cleaning, etc. So once I have picked No2 up from school at 11.30am, I can come home, change into old comfortable clothes, and lock the rest of the world out. Blissful.

What is your favourite cocktail, and what is the funniest thing you have done whilst under its influence?

Margarita. When we were on honeymoon in Mexico we were in an all inclusive hotel, and there was a hell of a lot of tequila flowing around. Towards the end of the fortnight we had hooked up with two other couples, and went on a Margarita binge. Our drunken conversation turned to how annoying it was that the, mainly American guests, would reserve their spaces around the pool. They would get up at 5am, drape their towels in the prime positions, and then go back to bed. A course of revenge was decided upon. We all sat up drinking until 6am, and then went down to the pool. We then proceeded to move the towels from all the prime spots, to crappy ones nearby. We then lay back, dozed off for a while, and waited for the ensuing chaos to begin. It was a very loud and argument filled morning by the pool, except for six giggling Brits drinking Margarita's.

Last thing you bought?

I just bought this really strange house-plant; it has the freakiest curly leaves with a tube-like red flower. I don't even have a place for it at the moment, so it is just sitting in the kitchen pending relocation.

What are you listening to?

Eminem, loving his new album, have been a fan from the start, although he can only be listened to when impressionable ears aren't around. Have just started listening to Melanie Gardot, love her voice, a calm afternoon favourite. Nina Simone and Sarah Vaughan are always firm favourites, and can be relied on to get me going. Although the artist I listen to virtually every day is Prince, he has songs for all seasons, and all moods, and is quite simply a Rock God. I have seen him in concert so many times, and he never fails to thrill (ohh get me, the fan boy). Almost forgot, I am also listening to 'Grounds for Divorce' by Elbow a lot. Love the song, and has the added bonus of keeping my wife on her toes.

Fave holiday spots

Budleigh Salterton, Devon. If you could have a place as a Soul-mate, this would be the place. It is probably the one place in the world most opposite my public persona, it is quiet, tranquil, and to an outsider quite boring, but it is the one place I love the most. My Aunt and Uncle moved down there when I was about seven or eight, and we have been going there ever since. A beach with huge round smooth pebbles, and an old fashioned Ice Cream shop with about 100 flavours. Plus my Aunt owns the main pub in the town, so what's more to like?

What are you reading?

'On Writing' – Stephen King. If I am to ever make any money out of this writing malarkey, I need to start taking it seriously. I can't think of a better teacher than him. I don't care if literary snobs look down on him, as a modern day character writer he is up there with the best of them. Although to be honest I am not that worried about the money, just to see anything I wrote actually in print would be a huge buzz.

4 words to describe you

Cheeky, funny, flirty, scallywag.

Guilty pleasures

Song – Islands in the Stream, Dolly Parton & Kenny Rogers (Genius).

TV – Brothers and Sisters (Crap but riveting).

Film – Field of Dreams (I cry every time).

Food – Tesco's savoury cheese balls (my midnight snack of choice).

If you were god/goddess who would you be?

Horus, the Egyptian God of War amongst other things, they were multi-tasking God's in those days. He is often depicted as a Falcon which is quite cool, and he has some great back-story. His Father was killed by Seth, and Horus then went on to avenge him in an epic battle. A typical bloke type God.

Who/what makes you laugh until you are weak?

You can basically pick any scene from The Young Ones and it will set me off. The first series came out just as I realised humour could be cool and stupid, and the more my parents didn't understand it, the funnier it became. I did not even understand all the jokes i.e. when Viv said that ASLEF was an anagram of 'Complete and utter bastards' I laughed like a loon, and he was right as it turned out. Derek and Clive's 'World's stickiest Bogey' sketch, also has me in pieces. Nobody will ever make the C word funnier than those two, no matter how hard I try.

Fave spring thing to do.

Starting to plant my vegetable and herb seeds, so we can have home grown fine dining all summer. I also really love getting my hanging baskets ready, when they start blooming I just look at them with a huge sense of achievement, and then realise what an old fart I have become.

When you die what would you like people to say about you at your funeral?

"Glad you could make it". I have always wanted a living funeral/wake, so I could say goodbye to everybody properly with one last mammoth beer-up.

Best thing you ate or drank lately?

Swordfish steak, chips and salad, at my Aunt's pub in Devon and it was absolutely gorgeous. I don't eat fish as a rule, smells to fishy for my liking, and this was the first time I had tried swordfish. I have tried to be a bit more adventurous with my eating since I gave up smoking, and my taste buds reappeared.

When did you last go for night out?

Last week for my Wife's birthday we went to our favourite Chinese restaurant, we are always treated so well there we rarely venture to a different one. On this particular night the place was empty, we were the only customers, and it was great, I felt like Tony Soprano in Vesuvio. The manager came over for a chat bearing drinks on the house, the food was great but not rushed. What could have been a total bad atmosphere, turned out to be the opposite and made for a great night.

Fave film ever.

Reservoir Dogs, an absolute cinematic masterpiece. I took my little sister to one of the first showings of it, and it was a midnight screening which just made you feel you were about to watch something special, something more maverick than anything you had seen so far. I remember seeing the trailers, and the clips coming out of the Sundance Film Festival, and just being blown away, and the finished result did not let me down. I have been a worshiper at the Church of Tarantino ever since.

Share some wisdom.

There is always a silver lining to every cloud, it's just that sometimes you have to search damned hard to find it.

Putting ground pepper onto a cut is the quickest way to stop it bleeding, you think it will sting, but you will genuinely not feel a thing.

Song you can't get out of your head.

Ever since reading this stupid question it has been Kylie's 'Can't get you out of my head'. Previous to that it was Dire Straits 'Romeo and Juliet'. I seem to have been humming this for the last 2 weeks on and off.

Thing you are looking forward to

Never having to deal with children's poo anymore, I have exceeded my faeces threshold, and just want it to stop now. I have always wanted a dog, but until they breed one that either doesn't poop, or can clean it up itself, it is never going to happen.

If you could change one detail from your past, what would that be?

Not one - as I am a firm believer in the butterfly effect. If I was to change one thing, even something as insignificant as having an extra drink one night, then my kids would either not be here, or completely different people. The night they were conceived, the fastest swimmer was one of six million, if it came second you have a different child.

Tag you're it......

Meme rules: remove one question and replace with one of your own.

And my unwilling victims are (less two as @angpang nicked one, and one asked me to do a different meme a few days ago.)

@DaveBartlett1

@carolinefo

@guestblogme

@foxy_trott

@hopefulauthor