Tuesday, August 3, 2010

A Quest for Knowledge

I’m about to take my first steps towards my long awaited Nobel Prize for Science, and I’m inviting you all to come along with me. Those wonderful folk over at the Science Museum, in my home town of London, are on a quest for knowledge and they want me, and of course you, to help them. Don’t panic, you haven’t got to work out why buttered toast falls slimy side down, why a full nappy weighs twice the amount of the food consumed, or even why ginger (seriously, why though?) So you can stop searching for those old Physics text books in the loft and just answer a simple question.

What makes you smile?

Your answers will all form part of their ‘Who am I?’ gallery, all about what makes you, you. In my case that’s 2 parts Jack Daniels, 1 part coffee, 4 parts body mass, 1 part Oasis lyrics and a tiny smattering of smart arse thrown in for good measure.

Your answers can be written in the comments field of this blog or you can tweet them at @sciencemuseum . You can even send them a video response, well everyone except Paris Hilton as we have already seen what makes her smile.

So to set the ball rolling I had better tell you what makes me smile. I’ve ignored all the obvious ones like an unopened bottle of Tequila and a bag of limes, watching people walk into things and winning an argument with the Wife (only because I can’t remember the last time that particular one happened.)

What I’ve plumped for, is stuff my five year old daughter Kaede says.

We were watching the third parent the other day, let’s pretend it was the Discovery channel and not The Simpsons, when the adverts come on. This particular advert was for dishwasher tabs, the ones with all the wonderful fresh fragrance of forest fresh lemons, and the cleaning power of four below minimum wage illegal immigrants. Kaede turned to me with a wistful look on her face and said “I wish I was a plate.”

Experience has taught me not to then ask her “Why?” The last time I did that her response was “because then I can wee on a trampoline”, and you really don’t want to know what the question was that prompted that believe me. So I gave a more measured reply of “Wouldn’t it be better to be the person that got to eat off the plate rather than the plate itself, always destined to carry the food rather than eat it?” I was expecting a “But I can eat the food when it’s laying on me” type answer, and not looking forward to the ‘plates don’t have mouths’ debate that would follow. Again.

Her actual response was “But plates are hard working and strong because they can carry all of that food. They have a purpose.” Did I mention she was five? This was definitely the most profound thing she had ever said, certainly more profound than my last drunken offering of ‘Kids are for life, not just the cab ride home’.

So that’s what makes me smile, her crazy statements and her ability to shock the hell out of me in a good way, rather than the riding down the stairs on a tea tray bad way.

So now it’s your turn, I look forward to your responses, and I promise to mention you all in my acceptance speech.


Dilydaydreams said...

getting into a freshly made bed with ironed egyptian cotton sheets, plump pillows and shaved legs.....hmmm bliss.

alternatively spending time with my nieces and nephews - whether they are biologically related or through love and friendship. A childs belly laugh reminds me that the important things in life arent material goods, status or wealth, indeed the world can be a better place in the years to come because you meant something in the life of a child.

Anonymous said...

Nice post! When my daughter tells me she loves me always makes me smile. Then again, when I watch Only Fools & Horses makes me smile. Guess I'm easy to please.

CJ xx

Anonymous said...

Watching my Golden Retriever 'swim' through fields of long grass, only her plume of a tail visible as she runs.

Cate P said...

So many things ... laughter from the kids when they share a joke, even if it's about me, because it means they are getting along ... chocolate ... my 3 year old great-niece trying to say my name ... my cat falling off the sofa, twice ... my daughter's quick wit ... my son's thoughtfulness... the thought of someone having the time to iron their sheets, let alone actually doing it...

Anonymous said...

Mum: Listening to my two sons sing Oasis together when we are having a barbecue, especially as they have had a drink.

Anonymous said...

A plan coming together, makes me smile, but I also have to have a cigar and a white wig about my person at any given time, to complete the effect, otherwise it's just not the same is it. Also likening peeps to certain characters in animated tv shows and ribbing them to the ends of the earth so cruelly, has been known to release a few smirks, obviously. Lastly and by no means least, major ahievments, blue skys and 'One Foot In The Grave' will always guarantee an ear to ear grin. :-)

chickenprincess said...

lots and lots of things, because I am a smiley sort, and have great kids and a funny dog. But I absolutely cannot read Mr Bump to my daughters without all of us giggling uncontrollably, especially when he falls down the hole, and off the boat. Just seeing the cover of the book makes me smile.

goonerjamie said...


JG - Armageddon

Anna - laying in the sun with nothing better to do than lay in the sun! :)
laying in the sun, stoned, beside a river :)
child or adult laughing heartily :)
Jon saying Armageddon! lol :)
a growing ....or is that too rude for your blog...lol :)
...orang-a-tangs :)
Anything Stewie says in Family Guy :)
when I fit into my jeans :)
tea and oreo's or angel cake :)
reading Jamie's blog :)
Gosh! Loads of stuff..... :o)))))

Anonymous said...

My husband coming home. As my 3 year old said this morning after going to bed and waking up having not seen him for 24 hours + "we are not a family unless daddy is here."...................

Hot Cross Mum said...

Oh, there are just too many things: jelly, balmy summer evenings, the boys' attempts at breakdancing, champagne, a particular photo of my mum, dogs sticking their heads out of car windows...I could go on, but I assume I should leave some space for other people.

Annieb25 said...

Chocolate, Twitter, Really bad jokes, my dog, my partner, my kids, rainbows and did I say chocolate?

westendmum said...

Well, riding down the stairs on a tea tray for one.

When Erbie says: ‘Cuddles mummy - ah'. Cos I know it won't last, it's appealing in a nearly 2 year old, I doubt it will be by the time he's nearly 20.
WEM xx

Kylie L said...

Lovely new books and the time to read them, Mad Men, cold cider, sunshine and beaches and the whale (yes, whale!) we saw off Cable Beach (WA, Australia) just this afternoon, diving and spouting and slapping its flukes, chocolate, phonecalls from friends, my daughter talking to her dolls, twitter, a fresh idea and my name in print. Simple, really.

sjb said...

I think you need to read this book... Extrafingers. www.extrafingers.net.au
No, I'm not the author, but it is very amusing, perhaps in a peculiarly Australian way.